Just Breathe

Happy Easter

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 09:32:53 -0400

Happy Easter

Almost Famous

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 21:42:26 -0400

Rod Stewart gave me a soccer ball, thought I saw Telly Savalas on the bus once but probably didn’t and David Hasselhoff unfollowed me on twitter after I told him I didn’t find him attractive.

Tears

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 18:08:23 -0500

I’ve cried three times in the past ten years. I’ve sobbed uncontrollably three times today. A break please in the never ending disappointment, just once even would be pretty great. Four. Four times now.

Is this normal communication? Seems my contractor wants to kick...

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 10:34:06 -0500

Is this normal communication? Seems my contractor wants to kick my ass.

It's a Slippery Hope

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 01:17:34 -0500

I hate hope. I hate happy. I hate suspicion. I hate when I don’t hope, aren’t happy or have suspicions. I can’t settle in or let you in, I can’t believe, trust, rely. The second, the absolute second I’m sure and happy and excited a cold wind comes in. It blows through with the chill of a misdirected text, or a plan not kept, or wanting masked as fear. A wondering. Something is off kilter. It’s me. I can physically feel the walls around my heart tighten. I recognize it as the wishful thinking that someone else would do as you would do in a situation and I also recognize that is not rational. So I mind my own business, I have no right to question. It’s probably nothing I tell myself, because there is nothing. My issues have nothing to do with him. Have a little faith, I plead to myself, he’s a good man.

But I don’t believe my hope, I don’t trust my happy. I’m going to do my best to wait for a tangible reason to accept another heartbreak because there truly is nothing he’s said or done to deserve my distrust, because some people are who you want them to be and it’s not fair to make him pay for the lies of others and the distrust it has brought.

I’ve already said I told you so a hundred times to myself so that’s out of the way all that’s left is to be wrong. I’m ready to be wrong. I want to be wrong. I’m ready to be happy.

It’s a big risk, offering the one tiny piece of my heart I have left to be broken, but I’m ready for that too.

What a wonderful feeling it is to be completely smitten. The flirt and fixation. The shy trepidation...

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 01:06:16 -0500

What a wonderful feeling it is to be completely smitten. The flirt and fixation. The shy trepidation of the getting to know you dance. Butterflies, goosebumps, caught breaths and constant grins. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. Welcome back.

Condo Reno Update

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 00:27:12 -0500

So, I closed on the condo I bought on December 21st, and the demo got underway the next day. I’ve spent a small fortune and there are still a few things left to get but things are moving along really well. At first it was a little overwhelming but mostly it’s been fun and relatively stress free. Still haven’t listed my current house for sale yet it’s really not ready and I can’t quite motivate myself to finish doing what needs to be done even though selling my house is sort of key to my financial survival. Nice little perk of the reno, my contractor is hot as hell. Might look into keeping him.

Merry Christmas from my dog.

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:40:25 -0500

Merry Christmas from my dog.

Say their names.

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 19:49:37 -0500

Charlotte Bacon, 6;
Daniel Barden, 7;
Rachel Davino, 29;
Olivia Engel, 6;
Josephine Gay, 7;
Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 6;
Dylan Hockley, 6;
Dawn Hocksprung, 47;
Madeline F. Hsu, 6;
Catherine V Hubbard, 6;
Chase Kowalski, 7;
Jesse Lewis, 6;
James Mattioli, 6;
Grace McDonnell, 7;
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Emile Parker, 6;
Jack Pinto, 6;
Noah Pozner, 6;
Caroline Previdi, 6;
Jessica Rekos, 6;
Avielle Richman, 6;
Lauren Russeau, 30;
Mary Sherlach, 56;
Victoria Soto, 27;
Benjamin Wheeler, 6;
Allison N. Wyatt, 6

Arguing sadness

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 23:51:53 -0500

The tragic events of yet another mass shooting has left me very sad and disappointed. Mixed with the grief for people I do not know is also a sense of pride for everyone who tried to help. The worst and the best, a violent kiss.

I don’t understand the people who are not sportsmen or the like that insist no one will ever take their gun from them. Especially parents. If you have a gun in your home, unloaded and properly locked away, it is useless to you if you are ever faced with a home invasion or whatever it is you think you are protecting yourself from. The chance that a person in your home will be injured or killed is more likely than anyone being saved.

The differing views being argued is pointless I suppose but we all feel we need to express ours. Maybe I will never influence a change of heart, but I will never change my heart either.

Someone I love has made a decision I don’t like.Many of the reasons I’m not happy are selfish, but...

Sat, 08 Dec 2012 02:20:33 -0500

Someone I love has made a decision I don’t like.Many of the reasons I’m not happy are selfish, but the one that saddens me most is knowing one day it will sadden him too.

Photo

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 22:04:23 -0500

Oh god, what have I done?

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 23:50:31 -0500

A while back I mentioned I was thinking of selling the house, buying a tiny condo and renovating it within an inch of its life with beautiful finishes.

I did not sell my house, though I hope to in the near future as it appears I have bought a condo and hired a contractor.

So much to do, every single thing is being replaced in the condo. Everything. So much money. I’m a bit overwhelmed but if what’s in my head translates to real life and everything falls into place it will be beautiful and mortgage free. If not, well, um, hmm, let’s just go with it all working out.

Me

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 16:29:25 -0500

Birthday: April 23
Hair: brown
Eyes: blue
Height: 5 ft yes, I’m aware that doesn’t really qualify as height
Coffee: yes
Mac or PC: want a Mac
Best school subject: English
Gamer: no
Favourite colour: calm beachy
tones
Celebrity crush: none
Current shirt: white
Favourite food: no one favourite of anything really.
Day or night: night.

Happy Halloween

Wed, 31 Oct 2012 16:31:48 -0400

Happy Halloween

Love this woman and her protest sign taken at a women’s...

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 12:10:14 -0400

Love this woman and her protest sign taken at a women’s equality demonstration.

Rest in the cradle of the crescent moon Neil.

Sat, 25 Aug 2012 16:57:21 -0400

Rest in the cradle of the crescent moon Neil.

I like the little bits of your real life you choose to share.

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 17:43:11 -0400

I like the little bits of your real life you choose to share.

Photo

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 20:00:51 -0400

Oh yeah,

Mon, 20 Aug 2012 18:26:04 -0400

You know what else I did today? Called my boss after getting increasingly annoyed at work and told him I was on medical leave until further notice. I guess I should let my doctor know. Benefits kick in after the 8th day of absence and they are going to want to know my medical status. Sick and tired of it is a medical status isn’t it?

Kidding, to a degree. I have medical issues that have worsened significantly since I’ve been made to work back in the office after working from home for 5 years.

There’s no reason for me to be there either. I work alone amid rows of empty cubicles. I’ve never been on benefits before so I’m stressing about that now too. They’ll probably fire me.